Crazy Quotes for a Crazy Lady

Well, since my world has turned upside-down,  I have decided to see a counselor for the first time in my life. Thus, I found a lady with red hair, a frumpled blouse, and an empathetic ear. When I walked into the cramped little office in Issaquah, I was not sure what to expect.  I looked around and noticed random pieces of furniture, paintings on the floor, and sayings plastered on the walls to inspire mental health.   The inspirational quotes were as follows:

 "When all is not right, go left." (Complete with an arrow.)

 

"Children's laughter is the best medicine."

 

"Tomorrow is a new day."

After assessing the quotes, I began thinking about the job of a counselor and how I would decorate my office if I were one.  I think I would put up different quotes on my wall; quotes that would mess with my patients' minds and make them crazier than they already were.   I googled theraputic quotes and came up with this winning quote website: http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/84292/150702/15-humorous/.

If I were a psychologist, I would paint my office rainbow colors and decorate it with polka dots.  It is a well known fact that polka dots make everything alright.  And if  the room that my patients were sitting in was crazy looking, then my patients' mindset would fit right in. Additionally, in bold lettering-Comic Sans font, I would write these quotes from my new favorite website:

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."  Rodney Dangerfield -

 

 "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined."

Samuel Goldwyn.

 

 "How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits."

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.” ― William Gibson
 

  "I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."

Edgar Allen Poe

Come to think of it, some of these would look nice around my house.  Maybe Sarah will use her vinyl lettering machine and create a nice phrase for my kitchen.  Then I could read it while I applied my placenta cream.  Which one should I pick?