The Before Table:
Okay, everyone, brace yourselves. I have embarked on a DIY fiasco courtesy of Ikea, which just so happens to be a short fifteen minute car ride from my house.
Now if you know me and Do-It-Yourself projects, then you can picture me wrestling around on my kitchen floor with boxes, screw drivers, bolts that look like flowers, and screwy things that you need to bite in order to fit them in the tiny holes. Yes friends, I was attempting to put together my new and improved Docksta Table.
I will show you the steps I took to put this incredible table together three times. Yes, I took it apart and redid it three times, and it is still wobbly wobbly.
Step 1. Drag your children to Ikea and attempt to lug huge boxes around the store. Get exasperated when Eli throws his pacifier on the floor twenty times and then screams for it.
Step 2. Unload the huge boxes at home and drag them into the kitchen.
Step 3. Try to comprehend the wordless instructions on how to put the dang thing together.
Step 4. Call Gerardo and ask if I have a tool for the flowery looking bolt that I need to tighten.
Step 5. Call Gerardo again and ask if I have a wrench somewhere in the house.
Step 6. Place tube looking thingy into other long white section. Perfection.
Step 7. Tighten everything with the squiggly line tool. Bite the white plastic things so they go in the little holes.
Step 8. Flip super heavy thing over to examine my handwork.
Step 9. Realize the thing is wobbly wobbly.
Step 10. Take apart and redo.
Step 11. Redo again. It is still wobbly wobbly.
Step 12. Figure it is as good as it is going to get and ask someone (aka Gerardo) to look at it next time he comes over. Stick flowers on it in the mean time, and add the mint chairs that were painted with toddlers.
Step 13. Wonder why the kids have been so quiet the whole time. Oh yes, they were throwing all the folded laundry all over the family room.