Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Inner monologue of a mom at the splash park

 My failed attempt at a pre-splash park pic of the boys.

Arrive at the splash park, unloading the car:

Shit. Why did I bring all of these bags for a morning at the park? Did I pack enough snacks?  I hope Eli doesn't poop.  I am glad Kim has sunblock.  I haven't had time to buy any yet this summer.

"Carlo please sit down until I unload everything.  Don't turn any dials in the car."

 Remember when I had that sun rash when I didn't put any sunscreen on? I don't want that to... Eli is sleeping. Damn.  Why does he always fall asleep five minutes before we arrive at the park? Should I wake him?

"Carlo will you get the towels?"

"Eli, wake up buddy.  We are here at the park."

Crap. Now I need to figure out how I am going to carry all this stuff to our area. Should we sit in the shade? That would be cooler. The shade is too close to the road. The kids could get hit by a car and end up in the ER. I don't want to end up in the ER.  We need to sit on the grass.  Where is Carlo? Did he run into the parking lot. Parents drive fast.

"Carlo, please hold my hand buddy.  Let's walk to the park."

At the splash park:

Man, I really packed too much stuff.  I can't believe I am in a bathing suit. Super uncomfortable.  How does that mom over there look so hot? She has three kids. I need to lay off the carbs.  Even the pregnant mom looks awesome.  Note to self: hit the gym tomorrow. Buy wine tonight.

"Carlo and Eli, do you guys want a fruit snack?"

These have tons of sugar. Maybe I should give the kids fruit instead. It might ruin their lunch. I am probably "that mom" who feeds her kids crap.  Where is Eli? He's right by my leg. Should we go to the park part first or the water part first? Did I leave the towels in the car? Here they are. Kim looks so calm and put together. I have lost my marbles. Where is Carlo?  Do they have enough sunblock on? I wish I had a margarita right about now.  What am I going to make for dinner? I have a ton of laundry to do again.  I am sweating. Did I put on enough deodorant?

"Eli, do you want to go to the squirting whale? Carlo are you going to get wet? Fun!  Yeah!"

There's the hot mom again. I hope she stands somewhere else, and not next to me. Gym tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow. Eli is now crying. Why are they going back and forth from one park to another? How can I watch them both at once? Where is Carlo? How did I lose my kids at the splash park? There he is, right behind the turtle. I am having a heart attack.  Too many people. Too many kids here. This is bonkers. Why is Eli crying?  I have to go pee again.

"Come on boys. It's time to go.  Let's all go potty.  Wasn't that fun?"

We made it.  Done with the splash park.  It was fun to see Kim and the girls. I wish I could have talked more to them.  We will have to come back here again. 

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