Monday, July 14, 2014

You Know You're A Momma of A Toddler When....

1.)  You know you're a momma of a toddler when you pull diapers, pacifiers, and toy cars out of your purse before your keys, lip gloss, and wallet.


2.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when your car has become the endless pit of no return for toys to go and die.


3.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you can't remember the last time you peed alone.



4.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you listened to the book I Stink or the "Caspar Babypants" CD so many times in the car that you know all of the words, and you have never even heard the new Beyonce song called "Drunken Love" or something like that. (See, I don't even know the title because I have not yet heard it.)

5.)  You know you're a momma of a toddler when your lunch consists of left over baby carrots, bits of turkey, and Carpi Suns.

6.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you can name every character on Sesame Street and wonder why they changed Elmo's World to Elmo the Musical?


7.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you wake up at 6:30am on a Sunday to a small person poking your face and asking for donuts downstairs.

8.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you say things like, "Please make a good choice" to the grumpy person in line at the grocery store who is holding up the line for ten minutes because a single egg is broken out of the dozen she purchased last week.

9.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you have to do your hair in five minute chunks in order to referee fights between siblings and restore order to the household.


10.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you cannot leave the house without bits of food and random smears across your clothing.




11.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you see the mini carts in Bartells Drugs and know they are the kiss of crazy toddler grab-and-go mania death, rather than a cute play toy for kids.

12.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you pick up the same.dang.toys up 10,000 times a day even though your toddler picked them up 10,000 times too.



13.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you wake up and a little head (or two) is sleeping soundly next to you, but you have no idea when or how he/they got into your bed.


14.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when the mall is synonymous with "fun indoor play thing/fun place to play hide and seek or tag" rather than a fun shopping experience.

15.) You know you're a momma of a toddler when you wouldn't have it any other way.


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