the cozy nook: One Year Ago

Happy Birthday Baby Eli Alonzo

One year ago I met one of the most important and influential people in my life, my son Eli. Eli came crying and yelling into this world and continues to make his presence known everywhere he goes. He has a spark, a mischievous smile, and a passion for dogs and cuddles. He also barks at anything that moves, including birds.

Today I cannot help but reflect and think about how everything turned upside down in a moment. My semi-crazy mommy life turned into full-fledged insanity in an instant. But it is the hardest-best kind of crazy.

No, I can no longer get biweekly pedicures or go to happy hour whenever I feel like it. I have given up my fun back to school shopping sprees at Macy's in exchange for whatever I can find at Target or Fred Meyer. Usually, I go with two kids in the cart and I pray that the pants will fit because there is no way in hell I am going to try them on in the dressing room. I have tried it and Eli tries to crawl under the door, while Carlo dances around singing at the top of his lungs and checking out his reflection in the mirror.

But I digress; I don't have the energy to stay up all night or go to Vegas for New Years anymore. But I have small moments of gratitude and joy in exchange.

I live for the bedtime stories where I read the Good Night, Good Night Construction Site for the hundredth time and Carlo puts his arm around me and tells me he loves me. I love the gentle pat of Eli's hand on my shoulder when I see him after work. I giggle at the sight of both boys, yes both, drinking Starbucks hot chocolates in Safeway. (Eli graduated to asking, or yelling, for hot cocoas today, and since it was his birthday, I could not refuse.) I feel proud when Carlo helps out around the house by picking up his toys and "babysitting" Eli while I cook dinner. And I get excited when Eli spits out a new word or is on the verge of walking.

I don't want to go back in time when Eli was born, nor do I want to fast forward to when they boys are more independent. I try to enjoy each day as it comes and do my best. I know that I make mistakes and my boys get cranky and crazy. (Trust me, you should have seen the eyebrow raised look I got in the parking lot today at Safeway when I lost my temper because the car seat was screwed up again, Eli was screaming his head off and Carlo was whining about toys.) But I don't wish for yesterday or tomorrow. I am trying to make today a little bit better for my family.